Is it full moon? I feel weird. I feel helpless.

I received a text message from my mother that my other cousin is going to give birth tomorrow. I'm really happy for them. I am. But the more I think of my cousins becoming mommies made me sad. My husband and I have been married for two years and we are trying hard to have baby but we are still a failure.

I'm sure when we visit my cousin, everyone will ask me when will we have a baby. It's been pressuring me for a long time. They don't realize that I'm also hurting. They don't know that everynight I'm crying and praying for us to have a baby.

Is it really my weight? I really want to have a baby even I have weight loss surgery that I have read in medical travel guide.

I'm really afraid. What if I'm sterile? I don't know what to do. I really feel incomplete.

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